This is a record of experience that has been de-identified, risk-screened, and language-edited; the original author's identity, geographic location, or identifiable details are not retained in the text.
The hardest part is not knowing when it will happen next
My younger brother is gone. He had alcohol dependence for many years, and our family never noticed. It wasn't until one day, when he was no longer in his room, that we realized how serious the problem was.
Looking back, his way of drinking was very covert. He worked normally during the day and only drank after coming home at night. He bought cheap liquor, went to sleep after drinking, and went back to work the next day. We thought he just "liked a drink or two" and didn't take it seriously. Until the end, he stayed alone in his room and never came out again.
The doctor told us that long-term heavy drinking can have devastating effects on the brain and body. But what truly made me feel powerless was not the alcohol itself, but the fact that as a family, we had no idea he was heading toward danger.
My own drinking experience: from manageable to vigilant
To be honest, I drink too. Alcohol itself is bitter, and cheap, non-premium liquor gives you a headache after drinking. But once you use it to drown your sorrows due to psychological problems, you start to taste a sense of pleasure from it, and gradually develop dependence.
I've observed that this situation is more common among manual laborers. They work hard, suffer physical strain, and mostly buy cheap liquor. When the amount is small, alcohol doesn't affect the body much; but once the amount increases, the harm of alcohol is far greater than nicotine, and it has a devastating effect on the brain.
My drinking habits have been somewhat influenced by traditional literature and film. Poets and swordsmen drink when they're happy, and celebrate victories with hearty drinking. But I don't like that bitter taste, so I only drink a little when I'm happy or when there's good food. I drink more beer, because beer is cold and refreshing in the summer.
The difference between cigarettes and alcohol: different addiction mechanisms
I've also been addicted to cigarettes. When I was worried, I really needed cigarettes to forget the stress of reality. But later I found that smoking one or two packs a day in a row became more and more boring. The tar is disgusting, and the smell in confined spaces is unpleasant, which actually made me develop a feeling of aversion.
I gradually figured out an insight: actually, taking a few small puffs and slowly inhaling just a little can produce a dizzying effect. With this insight, after smoking for over a decade, I lost the addiction. I only take a few small puffs when I'm worried, seeking that slight dizzying effect, and less than half a cigarette is enough to achieve it.
The difference between cigarettes and alcohol is: cigarettes are easy to carry—you take them out of your pocket and smoke; alcohol requires an occasion, and drinking too much gives you a headache. But once either becomes addictive, even if not used to drown sorrows, you'll still want to smoke or drink. These two things not only relieve sorrow, but can themselves produce addiction. After a period without them, the brain becomes unhappy, and you need to smoke or drink again.
Re-examining: when feeling down, don't turn to cigarettes or alcohol
I've also been exposed to other substances abroad, with very strong effects, but not highly addictive. I only remember feeling great at the time, but I didn't have the urge to use again like with cigarettes. This made me understand: once cigarettes and alcohol become addictive, even if not used to relieve sorrow, you'll still want to smoke or drink. They can produce addiction on their own.
So, when you're feeling down, going out for a walk or something is better than turning to cigarettes or alcohol. I only quit my cigarette addiction because of this unique insight. The best approach is to just throw them away—you'll find that life is no different without cigarettes and alcohol. When I returned to China during the pandemic and was quarantined in Guangzhou, I went over twenty days without smoking and it was fine.
My brother's passing made me understand: alcohol dependence is not a matter of willpower, but a signal that needs to be faced early. If you or a family member are going through something similar, consider stopping to take a serious look at your own or your family member's drinking habits. The earlier you notice, the earlier you seek help, and perhaps you can avoid the worst outcome.
If you need help, you can learn about how to seek support, or see what family members can do.