This is an experience record that has undergone de-identification, risk screening, and language editing; it retains no identifying details about the original author's identity, location, or personal characteristics.
From "a little drink is fine" to "I can't go without it"
Many families initially don't take drinking seriously. Clinking glasses at business dinners, livening up gatherings—drinking a little is seen as part of social life. But the problem often hides in that "moderation." I've seen an example: a person who is usually considerate and hardworking undergoes a complete personality change after drinking—cursing, making unpleasant phone calls—and the next day, when sober, is full of regret. His wife said: "He's such a good person normally, but once he touches alcohol, he's not himself." This state is problem drinking—not yet addiction, but already causing harm to the family.
Go a step further, and it becomes alcohol addiction. Patients drink almost every day; the first thing they do in the morning is look for alcohol, otherwise they get shaky hands, a racing heart, and can't sleep. Family members watch with heartache and helplessness—persuasion doesn't work, and arguing is useless. One family member said: "My husband used to be the pillar of our home; now the bottle is his life." This kind of situation can't be solved with a simple "just quit."
The hardest part is not knowing when the next episode will happen
The hardest part of alcohol addiction isn't the physical dependence—it's the psychological "craving." A patient may drink a glass because they're happy, or because they're sad, or even out of boredom. Once they start, they can't stop until they pass out. What families fear most isn't the drunkenness itself, but not knowing when the next outburst will happen. One wife described: "He's quit several times. Every time he says 'this time for sure,' but the moment something upsetting happens, he picks up the bottle again. I live in constant anxiety, afraid he'll drink too much and something will happen."
This unpredictability makes the family atmosphere tense. Children don't dare speak loudly; wives don't dare express opinions, for fear of triggering him. Alcohol addiction isn't just one person's illness—it's like a net that traps the entire family.
Quitting on your own carries more risk than you'd think
Many patients' and family members' first reaction is to "quit at home by yourself." But the withdrawal risks of alcohol addiction are very high—even higher than withdrawal from drug addiction. If a person stops drinking suddenly, the body may experience chills and fever, tremors, anxiety, insomnia; in severe cases, delirium or coma can occur, requiring immediate medical help. One family member recalled: "On the third day after he stopped drinking, he suddenly started shaking all over and talking nonsense. We rushed him to the hospital, and the doctor said if we'd come any later, his life could have been in danger."
So quitting drinking isn't something you tough out through willpower alone. In professional treatment, replacement therapy is commonly used—for example, sedative-hypnotic medications to control withdrawal symptoms. But these drugs also carry addiction risks and must be used under a doctor's guidance. If handled improperly, a person can go from being addicted to alcohol to being addicted to medication. Many families don't know this in advance.
Quitting drinking isn't "never touching alcohol again"—it's learning to control it
Many patients are reluctant to seek professional treatment because they think "quitting means never touching alcohol for the rest of your life," which is hard to accept. One patient said: "I don't want to never drink again. I just want to be like a normal person—occasionally have a little drink and enjoy myself, as long as I can control it." This way of thinking is common, but clinically, for patients who are already addicted, the goal is to gradually reduce drinking, and ultimately achieve complete abstinence. This isn't about depriving them of pleasure—it's about protecting their health and their family.
Psychological therapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy, can help patients change their view of alcohol and learn to cope with stress and emotions in other ways. This process takes time—possibly months or even a year—but the effects are lasting. Abroad, mutual-help groups for quitting drinking are also common; a group of people supporting each other and sharing experiences can ease feelings of isolation. However, these approaches have developed more slowly in China, and not many people participate.
If you or a family member are going through something similar, you can first look at these self-assessment questions to understand the current level. You can also learn about ways to provide family support to know what the next steps are.
Alcohol addiction is a family problem—understanding the risks is the way to find a way out.