This is a record of personal experience that has been de-identified, risk-screened, and linguistically organized; the original author's identity, geographic location, or identifiable details are not retained in the text.
At first it was just a few drinks at a gathering with friends
The beginning of many things seems ordinary. At first it was just having a few beers with friends on weekends, chatting—no one thought there was any problem. But as time went on, the frequency gradually changed. From once a week, it became every other day, and then every day. Beer was no longer strong enough, so it switched to baijiu (Chinese liquor), going from half a jin (250 g) to a full jin (500 g). Back then, the family thought he just had a high tolerance for alcohol and didn't think much of it.
Later, his tolerance suddenly dropped. He would get drunk after drinking very little, but the next morning he would wake up wanting to drink again. Some said his body was deteriorating, that his liver was in bad shape. But what was truly confusing was this: not drinking made him miserable, and drinking also made him miserable. During that period, he felt trapped in a dilemma, as if caught in a crack—nothing felt right no matter what.
The hardest part was not knowing when the next episode would happen
He started hiding alcohol. Empty bottles could be found behind the cabinets at home, in the toolbox in the garage, and even under the flowerpots on the balcony. At first, the family tried to control him, so he would drink in secret, throw away the bottles afterward, and pretend nothing had happened. Arguments became more and more frequent. He grew irritable, threw things, and cursed at people. Originally, he took the initiative to drink; later, it was the alcohol that controlled him—once he had a sip, he couldn't stop, and he had to drink until he was drunk to feel satisfied.
The most distressing thing was morning drinking. The first thing he did upon waking was look for alcohol, because after a night without drinking, his body craved it—his hands shook so badly he couldn't even hold a cup steady. Only after drinking did his hands gradually steady. It was then that the family realized this was no longer just a matter of "liking to drink."
Withdrawal symptoms were more agonizing than imagined
He tried to quit drinking on his own at home. In the first two days of stopping, he became a different person. He was easily irritated, flew into a rage over trivial matters, suffered from insomnia, and couldn't concentrate at all. He was drowsy during the day and unable to sleep at night. At the worst point, he experienced hallucinations, saying he saw shadows of people moving on the wall and heard voices whispering in his ear. The family was terrified and rushed him to the hospital.
Later, the doctor explained that this was a manifestation of withdrawal syndrome. When someone who has been drinking heavily for a long time suddenly stops, the body goes through a series of reactions, ranging from hand tremors, palpitations, and sweating to more severe confusion and hallucinations. In some cases, if not treated promptly, dangerous signs can even appear. The doctor specifically emphasized that quitting on one's own at home carries significant risks, especially for patients with severe dependence, and it is best done under professional supervision.
Loneliness and shame made things worse
He himself was also in great pain. When sober, he knew he couldn't go on like this—his body was deteriorating, his liver had problems, he walked unsteadily, and his reactions were sluggish. He didn't want to drink anymore, but every time he made up his mind, he would pick up the bottle again within two days. He felt useless and ashamed, didn't want to go out or see people, and shut himself in the house all day.
The family also felt helpless. They had advised him, argued with him, cried over him, and even poured out all the alcohol in the house, but he would still find a way to get alcohol. It felt like fighting an invisible enemy—you never knew when the next outburst would come.
Only later did we understand this is a disease, not a matter of willpower
The doctor told us that alcohol dependence is an addictive disease, not a sign of weak willpower. It has clear diagnostic criteria: craving for alcohol, increased tolerance, impaired control, withdrawal symptoms, giving up other activities, and continuing to drink despite knowing it is harmful. Meeting two criteria indicates mild dependence, four indicates moderate, and six indicates severe. At the time, he met almost all of them.
Treatment requires comprehensive intervention—it cannot be resolved by a single medication or psychological counseling alone. Because behind alcohol addiction, there are often psychological issues, and psychological issues are frequently related to family relationships. Therefore, the key to treatment lies in psychotherapy and family therapy; medication is only the foundation—used to control withdrawal symptoms, suppress the urge to drink, and regulate bodily functions.
In the end, he chose inpatient treatment. The doctor said that mild cases can be treated with outpatient medication, but severe cases generally require hospitalization for forced detoxification, followed by long-term rehabilitation. This path is not easy, but at least the direction is right.
For those going through something similar
If you or a family member is in a similar situation, my advice is: first go to the hospital for an assessment to check your physical condition and the degree of addiction. Don't try to tough it out at home on your own—withdrawal symptoms can be dangerous. Treatment requires the patient's perseverance, as well as the cooperation and support of family members. This is not one person's battle, but a problem that the whole family needs to face together.
For more information on identifying alcohol dependence and family support, you can check the self-assessment questionnaire and the family support guide.
Alcohol dependence is not weak willpower, but a disease that requires professional intervention.