This is a record of experience that has been de-identified, risk-screened, and linguistically organized; the original author's identity, geographic location, or identifiable details are not retained in the text.
At first I just thought he liked a drink or two, then I realized he couldn't do without alcohol
When someone in the family drinks, it didn't seem like a big deal at first. During holidays, festivals, and gatherings with friends, having a few drinks seemed normal to everyone. But gradually, things changed. He started drinking every day, regardless of the time, and even the first thing he did in the morning was look for alcohol. At mealtimes, alcohol mattered more than food, and sometimes he would skip meals entirely and just drink. Family members urged him to stop, and he would agree verbally, but then secretly drink again.
His alcohol intake grew larger and larger. Previously, one bottle of beer would make his face flush, but later, half a jin of baijiu (Chinese liquor) wouldn't show any signs of intoxication. This wasn't an improved tolerance for alcohol—it was his body developing tolerance to alcohol. The doctor said this is a typical sign of alcohol dependence—in order to achieve the same effect, he needed to drink more and more.
The hardest part was not knowing when the next episode would happen
What made the family most anxious wasn't the drinking itself, but the frightening conditions that appeared whenever he didn't drink. Several times, when he couldn't get alcohol for various reasons, he seemed like a different person—restless, sweating palms, hands shaking so badly he couldn't even hold a cup steady, plus nausea and vomiting. The family thought he was sick and rushed him to the hospital, but when the doctor asked, he said it was withdrawal symptoms. As soon as he drank a little alcohol, these symptoms quickly disappeared.
This cycle was devastating for the family. When he was sober, he knew he was in the wrong, but once withdrawal symptoms hit, he couldn't care about anything else and only thought about how to get alcohol. The family didn't know when these symptoms would suddenly appear again, nor did they know when this kind of life would ever end.
His personality changed, and the family grew exhausted too
After long-term heavy drinking, his personality changed noticeably. He used to be a fairly responsible person who took his work seriously. But later, he became increasingly selfish, caring only about whether he could get a drink, and ignoring everything going on at home. His emotions were unstable, and he would lose his temper at the slightest thing, blaming others for his frustrations at work or in life. His memory also deteriorated significantly—he would forget what he had just said moments earlier.
Communication between the family and him became increasingly difficult. He seemed to live in his own world, with an intense craving for alcohol, going to great lengths to get it. He didn't care where the family's money went, but the money for alcohol couldn't be cut. When family members urged him to drink less, he felt everyone was targeting him, and the relationships grew increasingly tense.
His body collapsed—it wasn't something that happened overnight
The physical problems caused by long-term heavy drinking accumulated little by little. He began to frequently have stomach discomfort, couldn't eat, and lost a lot of weight. Later, examinations revealed that his liver was also affected, along with malnutrition and insomnia. The doctor said that alcohol is a neurotropic substance, and long-term excessive drinking can damage the nervous system and also affect the function of internal organs.
The family watched him grow thinner day by day, worried but unable to persuade him. He himself knew his health was failing, but he just couldn't stop. Sometimes he would say he wanted to quit, but within a few days he would be back to his old ways. This cycle left the family feeling both heartbroken and helpless.
What can the family do? First understand the situation, then seek support
Faced with this situation, family members are often the first to feel powerless. They've advised him, argued with him, and even thought about giving up, but in the end, they couldn't let go. In fact, alcohol dependence is medically considered a relapsing brain disorder, not something that can be solved by willpower alone. What the family needs to do is not to bear it alone, but first to understand what this condition is, and then to seek professional support.
If someone in the family is in a similar situation, you can try to first learn about alcohol dependence—for example, what withdrawal symptoms are and why he can't stop. Then, consider contacting a professional medical institution to have a doctor conduct an assessment and intervention. Family support is very important, but professional help is equally indispensable.
This road may be long, but every step is worthwhile. For more information on how family members can cope, you can refer to the Family Support Guide. If you need help right now, you can also check the Emergency Help Pathways.
Long-term drinking not only harms the body, but also changes a person and robs the entire family of a sense of security.